Man, time flies when I am supposed to be doing better about journaling!  Well, let’s see here-my week in a nutshell…

Mon. weigh in  (Biggest Loser contest which I am LOSING-not in a good way!)

Tues. earned some babysitting co-op sticks

Wed. tried pilates for the first time-wow my abs are killing me!  Volunteered at Zoe’s school

Thurs. always the best day of the week…. MASSAGE

Fri. Date night with some good friends

Sat.  ANOTHER BIKE RIDE–I will write more about this

Sun.  Tim left-eikes!

Mon.  woke up to 1/2 my pool water GONE-UH OH!  Turns out the back wash valve broke so instead of circulating water for 4 hours, it drained for 4 hours.

Tues.  pool gets fixed

Wed. tried pilates again (not so bad this time) and volunteered at Zoe’s school

That is it- kind of boring.  Today has been one of those days where you CRAVE some time alone.  Needless to say, without Tim being around, I am not getting it.  It seemed like every whine and cry or temper tantrum was 150% worse because of my poor mood today.  It was the 4th day of Tim being gone so I think my nerves and patience were hanging by a thread. 

So here it is, 8:11PM and the kids are in bed and I have some quiet time.  Nobody is reading this (right?) so I can say what I did last night for my quiet time…  I have been determined to do some "reconstructive" surgery on my stomach.  I keep trying to tell myself that it isn’t that bad but I can’t believe myself!  It has nearly consumed my thoughts for the past 5-6 years.  So, last night I decided that I would take pictures of this so called "nasty stomach" and see what it looks like from an outsider point of view.  Ya know, when you look at pictures, you can step outside of yourself and see what you really think.  So, I did just that…  um, and, um…  I am scheduling my "reconstructive" surgery ASAP.  (I already scheduled once but the bike accident got in the way)  It was very different looking at myself in a picture and I can confirm that it is worse than I thought it was.  I really want to attach a picture so you-whoever you may be-can be proud of me for taking this big step!  But, since it is still attached to me and it hasn’t been taken care of yet-I will hold off.  I really want to post a before and after picture though.  Anyhow, enough said about that!  It is just on my mind…

I am having a love/hate relationship with my budget.  I love it when all is rolling well but I HATE it when I want to get something that is not quite fitting in the budget.  I am learning some hard lessons and trying to figure out the best way to teach my kids.  I am a very organized person and so I love numbers to fit, match and work out nicely…  Let me give you an example of a HATE situation.  I wanted to go out to lunch today but I only had $4 left of my spending money and that was/is supposed to last until Friday the 15th.  In my prior "non-budget" life I wouldn’t even have given it a second thought, I would just use my card and transfer money later but DARN, I was out of cash and that meant I was out of money.  That is the whole point of having cash—when it is gone, it is gone.  Something so simple, yet so difficult. 

So tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, Tim calls it a Hallmark holiday.  I told me that I am off the hook because he doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day but I told him that he is NOT off the hook–do you want to know why???  Our first year of marriage, Valentine’s Day was only 2 months after we were married.  We had not even known each other the previous V-Day so I could not have been prepared for this…  The day came and he said nothing, had no card, no gift, no special attention, etc.  I kept thinking that he would have something wonderful at the end of the day for me.  As the day wore on, I couldn’t even believe or imagine that he would do nothing so I just knew it would be something amazing.  Well, probably by 9:30pm, on our way home from a wedding reception, I finally broke down and cried, I realized that there was no surprise in store, no special gifts or attention and because I was completely disappointed.  Tim couldn’t understand what the big deal was-I couldn’t understand why it WASN’T a big deal.  I called everyone that I knew to cry and tell my wahhh story.  Tim probably felt bad but he must have forgot how bad he felt because he did the same thing the next year.  CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???  Neither could I!!!  Well, I am happy to report that he did not let another year go by without acknowledging, recognizing and making Valentine’s a special day for me.  You know, I do forgive him.  How could he possibly read my mind and know that V-Day was important to me?  (but shouldn’t every man know that V-Day is important?)  Tim claims ignorance-Hallmark holiday-whatever but he knows now.  : }

Good news about my shoulder-I might be done with physical therapy at the end of next week.  I have loved my therapist but it is time consuming.  They have helped me come a far way.  I have been going for about 7 weeks or so…

Well, I am signing off now, more time to enjoy the quietness!