Lisa Heuer

Now it is so late, I am not even sure that it is worth trying to fall asleep.  As you know, with me one thought flows into the next.  It is often hard for me to FOCUS!  I should focus on going to sleep right now…  

I was just about to shut down but my desktop has a picture of my kids.  There you are, Zane and Zoe, sitting together smiling at me.  It is as if you knew I would be writing and struggling with the balance of my time in a day.  You two bring all sorts of emotions on in a day, ya know.  I go from being in love to being irritated, from peaceful to chaotic, from soft to loud, from teacher to student, from cook to cleaner, and everything in between.  I am thinking about motherhood today.  I am thinking about all that a woman will do for her kids.  I am thinking about the unexplainable amount of love, the overloads of kisses and hugs.  I am thinking about all that needs to be balanced or try to balance.  I am thinking about all the people that have walked before me in motherhood shoes.  I am thinking about the future mothers.  I am thinking that you, Zoe, will be a better mother than me.  I am thinking about a mother of a toddler, a mother of a teenager, a mother of an adult.  I am praying for mothers. 

I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t do for you (including missing my precious sleep for many reasons but the most recent being my desire to create a keepsake for our time together in Disneyland).  Zane and Zoe, you are my treasure! 

I am thinking right now about a nap tomorrow… how can I swing it?  : )

I had a glimpse of a memory from long ago today.  I was putting Zane to sleep (for the more than second time) and he wanted me to lay down and sleep next to him.  I, of course, was hard at work on the photobooks and knew I didn’t have much time to spare.  (just as a side note… if you give your children all the time you can give when they are awake and then they want you to sleep with them too, or at least until they ARE asleep, then it is definitely time for you to go to sleep.  OR, you stay up until morning trying to get things done that you can’t do while they are awake because you feel like you are ignoring them or the interruptions are too much.  Then you are tired and trying to be a good mommy with no sleep.  How does a mother balance it all?)  So, I instinctively tried to help him fall asleep quickly by tickling his face.  I traced his nose and around his eyes, then brushed his cheeks and lips with the backside of my fingers, then traced around his ears.  I could see his eyes getting heavy and at that moment I remembered the MANY nights that my very own mother helped me fall asleep in the same manner.  When I was suffering with a migraine headache and crying for some comfort, my mom would come rushing in to serve me.  She would go grab my medicine and then lay next to me trying to help me relax, calm down and fall back asleep.  It always worked.

I suppose as I get older, I recognize more and more the things my parents have done for me, sacrificed for me.  I know they did the very best they could do and always wanted what was best for me.  I never ever doubted how much they loved me.  I realize some of the struggles they endured (and I will realize more as I learn and grow while raising my kids-scary!) and what dreams they had for us as children and as a family.  We didn’t always agree…  normal stuff, right?  I admire their strength and courage, perseverance and determination, devotion and diligence, patience and dedication, I could go on but since they really all mean the same thing you know what I mean!  ; )  It was all for the benefit of their family…

I am so grateful for my parents.  I am so grateful for the wonderful home they provided for me.  I am grateful that both of my parents are still here for me to learn from and love.  I am grateful that they want to spend time with me and my kids.  I am grateful for the lunches that my mom plans and sets aside time for me.  I am grateful for my dad’s sense of humor-he has kept me laughing for 30+ years now.  I am grateful for their talents.  I am grateful for their example, their guidance and love.

Mom and Dad, I appreciate all that you do for me. I love you!…this much!

So, tonight is (was) the night.  I told myself that I would not look at my pillow until I had all the pictures loaded (and videos) and organized the photobooks for the girls to have FOREVER.  Well, I didn’t know what it would be like to “organize” over 300 photos in a book.  Needless to say, I have learned (which I love to do) and now I know some shortcuts.  Too bad I didn’t know it starting at 9:30am this morning.  With all that being said, it will be so very worth it.  I am hoping for Zoe to have all sorts of great memories of the trip-what better way to remind her than this book? So, when I continually put it in front of her and ask her to look at it and then thank me again, will that be asking too much?  ; )

This was a yummy ice cream sandwich.  Such nutrition…

This was the day Zoe was sick and in my arms ALL DAY.

I am loving this picture of Sheila… looks like a celebrity just getting off the airplane-or something like that ; ).  Her facial expression is awesome!

It is official, all the pictures are loaded and I am 95% done with the books.  Since it is 12:41am, I already missed the cut-off for the March 30th discount on shipping  ; )  I might as well go to bed!

Disneyland pictures and videos

I recognized something about myself just moments ago.  I felt thirsty-not hungry.  I went to the kitchen with my empty cup, not so empty because it still had ice in it… I wanted some water.  As I pushed the automatic water dispenser using my left hand, my right hand opened the refrigerator, as if I was hungry.  It was so weird.  I couldn’t do one without the other.  Hmmm, the refrigerator looked the same, nothing new and exciting had been added.  Darn! 

In the unconscious action of mine, I think I was wanting (badly) to open that fridge and see some deliciousness pop out and beg to be eaten.  It is no wonder I eat for fun!  My right hand acts involuntarily.  Ok, it is something I could work on, I suppose!

So, Disneyland… 

I can’t tell you how excited I was about the trip.  Zoe didn’t know a thing.  I packed her bag and hid it in the back of my closet until Thursday night when I packed my car.  (Oh, Thursday happened to be the busiest day of my entire life).  We drove to Denny’s parking lot in phoenix where we met Deb, she was taking Zane for the weekend, and we met the other girls and their mom’s.  It all worked smoothly.  As Cheryl picked the girls up, I think the story started that they were headed to the zoo.  When we were all together, we told them the truth. (look back a few posts to Disneyland and click the links-you will see the girls’ reactions-not quite what we were hoping for but close.)

I was going to document all of our fun dang it!  Remember, it was that self-appointing I did that got me the job!

So, the road trip began.  We used bribery as a tool for good behavior.  We gave out Cooperation Coins every 15 minutes when they were doing well.  We had a basket full of stuff (I mean STUFF) that they could buy using their coins.  Each thing had a price and when we stopped for food or potty, they could spend.

We arrived in LA shortly after the lunch hour and went to check in the hotel but they would not allow us to check in “early.”  We showed up about 45 minutes early and according to the gal at the front desk, there was NOTHING ready.  Weird-they were going to have the entire place ready in 45 minutes.  We figured we would waste time in the hotel lobby until they were ready for us.  You can imagine a gang of 8 in the lobby wasn’t quite what they were hoping for so needless to say, our rooms were ready “early.”  The girls were so impressed with our rooms, we probably could have ended the surprise right there.  : )  The rooms were kids suites which had 2 double beds and then a little separate room with bunk beds.

We got started right away and walked over to Disneyland and started with Pirates of the Caribbean (one of my favorites).  We were planning our next move and evaluating the lines.  We then headed over to Frontier land and  decided to ride that white boat  (I am sure that it isn’t actually called “that white boat” but since it was the first time I have ever been on it, I cannot recall its name).  The day moved quickly.  We took pictures with the characters from Aladdin, went in the Tikki Room, Jungle Cruise and then stopped for dinner. The girls were tuckered out pretty quickly.  It was the moms trying to squeeze in all the rides and strategize the day. The evening ended almost after dinner.  Zoe was claiming she was ready to go but agreed to do one last ride with me. We went over to Indiana Jones with Payton, Manda, Ellie and  Cheryl.  The girls were barely tall enough to ride it.  We had to improvise just in case so we put their hair up high and taught them how to stand as tall as they possible could. (Don’t worry, it backfired on me later when Zoe didn’t want to ride Screamin’ and when I asked her if she was even tall enough she said, “I don’t want to cheat today Mom.”  OUCH!!!!)

Oh, I made the mistake of getting a stroller on that first day.  I couldn’t handle the weight on my shoulder of the camera bag and the dumb idea I had to bring all my camera stuff.  Not only did I lug my camera stuff, but I also had a bottle of water, my wallet, and whatever else could fit in the compartments.  So, the stroller was a bad idea.  Just as I got comfortable without the bag on my shoulder, it was time to park the stroller, unpack my gear, wear it again on the ride then come out of the ride and play the game of “search for your stroller”.  I felt like all we did was park and unpark, pack and unpack the stroller.  It was $12 not well spent!

Anyhow, Indiana Jones was our last ride for the evening… well, the last ride for Manda, Payton, Zoe and me (Cheryl and Ellie weren’t ready to call it a night quite yet).  (Zoe refers to that ride as Junie B. Jones, she can’t quite remember how to say it otherwise.  She asked me later that night, “Mom is it ok if I call it Junie B. Jones because I can’t remember the name?”)  It was a great ride and the girls really liked that one too.  Half way through the ride, Zoe harshly pounded on my shoulder to get my attention and said, “Mom, it is a good thing you wear a seatbelt because you would definitely fall out without it.” 

Day 2 started something like this…. “I don’t want to go to Disneyland today.”  OH NO!!!!!  I wanted so badly to convince her of the value of that darn Disneyland ticket and the happiness I would feel if she was excited to go to the happiest place on earth with me.  Instead, she was not feeling well and wanted to spend the day in the hotel.  The others skipped off to Disneyland and I watched with a jealous eye, hoping that Zoe would quickly change her mind. 

I knew she was serious about not feeling well when she kept leaning over the toilet willing something to come out so she would feel better.  She thought a soak in the shower would work.  During her 30 minute “soak” she hopped out several times to throw up or do the other.  She started to feel better and figured it was Manda’s magic because as they were leaving Manda wished her to feel better.  Zoe said, “Mom, Manda was magic because she wished me to feel better and I do.”

We put ourselves together and headed out the door.  We got no further than the outside of the lobby doors and she wasn’t feeling so well anymore.  She asked if I would carry her-I agreed.  I figured there was no harm in holding her for a little bit while we waited for the shuttle.  She just layed her head on my shoulder and peacefully waited.  We got to Disneyland and rushed to get in line with the others already waiting at Autopia.  I carried Zoe the whole way, dodging people and being thankful that she wasn’t in a stroller.  After getting in line, I went to put her down but she still wanted to be held.  I decided that it was ok for me to hold her-most would say she is too old or that I should get a stroller.  I learned from the first day that a stroller was a pain in the neck.  I also knew that this trip was not too far from Zoe thinking I wasn’t so cool anymore and would not want to be seen with me, let alone let me hold her.  She wasn’t feeling well and just wanted to be held.  The day continued that way, she even took little naps on my shoulders.  Every once-in-a-while she would ask to rush to a toilet so she could throw up.  A few times, we didn’t have time to make it to the toilet and a plant or bush would suffice.  When we were waiting in line at Space Mountain, she leaned over near the trash bin in our line and threw up.  Sorry to those people behind us who had to see it when they walked by. 

Even though Zoe wasn’t feeling the best, we had an awesome afternoon.  We were able to go on lots of rides and see lots of things.  I could weave in and out of people pretty easy without having someone in tow or pushing a stroller.  We did the Autopia ride, the submarine ride, Space Mountain, Buzz Lightyear, and watched the Jedi training. (a few more that I am certain I am forgetting.)  We ended up heading back to the hotel around 5:00pm so Zoe could rest.  She had been telling me since 3:00pm that she was ready to go back.  I was being stubborn…

After a fine nap, Zoe was really feeling better.  I could tell she was ready to play.  We visited the Cheesecake Factory for dinner with Sheila and Katy who had also turned back for a nap.  Manda, Payton, Cheryl and Ellie were still playing hard at the park and enjoying all sorts of things in ToonTown.

After a fabulous dinner we headed back to Disneyland.  It was about 9:00pm.  We found the others and they were telling us how much they LOVED Thunder Mountain.  I think they said that they went on it about 7 times in our absence.  Zoe tried it out and was not loving it, to my disappointment.  I am a roller coaster girl and love fast rides-I am not sure that Zoe will be at my side for these kinds of things!  : )

I think we headed over to It’s A Small World after our experience on Thunder Mountain.  We took the train-a great way to get around the park!  Now, we were expecting some great things over in the small world.  Well, it is still a small world and must not be utilizing technology to its fullest.  We had been told that it was newly renovated but we didn’t see too much new or exciting.  …Still the floating around singing It’s a Small World in a bunch of different languages with the old school movement and puppets.  Oh well, it is a classic!

Day 3… no sickness and no complaining (so far).  It was time to hit CA Adventure.  This was perfect for Zoe.  BUT it was raining and very cold.  Our first purchase of the day was a poncho and umbrella.  Who doesn’t own a Mickey Mouse poncho?

We saw Aladdin, Disney Playhouse Live, watched an amazing parade,  had lunch at Ariel’s Grotto and took pictures with some princesses, (and our own princesses of course)

watched a High School Musical performance and did a few rides.  We got Ellie and Zoe to go on Tower of Terrors, which she says she will never go on again, and Soarin over CA which is now my all time favorite ride.  So a quick note about Tower of Terrors…  I was so nervous when the doors shut.  I was anticipating the drop and how Zoe would react. 

I was shaking and so nervous.  I was trying to remain calm and explain to Zoe when she was screaming on the drop that it was just for fun, we would go back up and then drop again.  She asked several times, “Is it almost over?”  The picture is Zoe and Ellie being goofy while waiting in line-pretending to be scared.  : )

So, we spent a million dollars in Disneyland food for lunches and dinners, 2 million on churros and cotton candy and had a great time with the girls.  I loved having the one on one time with Zoe but being on duty without a designated break was a bit exhausting.  I strengthened my biceps (and my quads were sore too) and after all that, I think the girls would have been totally satisfied playing in the hotel and swimming in their heated pool.  There was a few rides or attractions that they loved and were amazed about…  Disneyland has so much to see and I can’t imagine trying to do it with little ones in less than 3 days. 

On Monday, it was a bitter sweet.  We took the girls swimming and they had so much fun.  We soon had to leave and started our 9 hour journey home.  NINE HOURS.  That is what happens when you need several meals and several potty stops.  When we went from light to dark outside, we were all ready to be in the comfort of our own homes.

The girls really did so well.  I enjoyed everybody.  There were several times I was embarrassed as a mother (thanks for that Zoe) and several times I was a proud mother (thanks for that too, Zoe).  We are so blessed that Zoe has such great friends.  Those girls have been friends since they were about 18 months.  Playgroup was every Monday morning 9-12 until they all started school.  They are all growing so fast but they are all such good influences on Zoe. 

I am grateful for Zoe’s friends and their families.  I am grateful that they agreed to vacation with us and put up with us for 4 days.  I am grateful that the girls could be together and have so much fun.  I am grateful that Disneyland was not as crowded as I had expected.  I am grateful that I could go on Screamin’-a super fun roller coaster. I am grateful that Zoe only weighs 35 pounds.  I am so grateful for Dan and Deb-Zane had a great place to stay-he almost didn’t want to come home!  I am grateful for cooperation coins.  I am so grateful for the chance I had to spend time with Zoe while she is in kindergarten!

Zoe was very concerned about bringing something home for Tim and Zane.  She picked out a Mickey Mouse for Zane and I convinced her that dad didn’t need anything. (turns out, I was wrong… he wanted some ears)  I tucked them in bed-my bed- and when I went back to check on them I saw something so cute…

All the Disneyland pictures can be viewed here.

ahhh, I admit it, today I yelled-at Zane.  He was goofing off and I was trying to buckle him in the car seat… why always the car? 

I went to pick him up at 2:45 as I had planned and then realized once I got there that I didn’t have his car seat in the car so I had to turn back home and get the car seat.  (how did I survive growing up without a car seat?) By the time I grabbed the seat and strapped it in, I was running late to pick up Zoe and the gang from school.  Zane was busy giggling in the front seat because I couldn’t reach him.  I finally got my hands on him and put him in the seat-not in a gentle way.  He was still being a goof and was squirming to get out of my hold and the straps I was about to place on his shoulders.  I yelled.  I was late.  I wasn’t in control of my surroundings… uh-oh, red girls don’t love that… I was upset. It wasn’t my best moment.

He quickly knew I was serious and calmed long enough for me to fiddle with the buckle. 

Then to top off the afternoon, when I picked up Zoe she was anxious to get her homework started.  She wanted to work on it in the car-so she did.  (Of course she did, doesn’t she always somehow do what she wants to do?)  She got midway through it and realized it was more difficult than she expected.  I could feel it, something was going to happen… she ended up crying and throwing her writing utensil at the front seat.  Zane had fallen asleep so when we arrived at home I left Zoe in the car to take some deep breaths and get a hold of herself.  As I let the door shut behind me, I hear the sobbing escalate.  OK, I will give her a break, I mean really… we just got back from Disneyland and she is probably exhausted at her first day back to school after a 2 week break. 

I laid Zane down in his bed and Zoe came storming in the house, threw her papers on the floor in the hall, right in front of Zane’s door.  Zane woke up and also started to cry.  Zoe cried harder.  I picked up Zoe and carried her to her room and asked her to stay there until she could get a little rest and feel better.  It felt like a circus interview, “How well can you juggle THIS? and what about THIS?”  Just as I shut Zoe’s door, she comes out behind me, still sobbing.  I again put her in her room and this time held the door shut behind me-trying to keep her in there.  Yes, Zane is still crying in his room probably because he is half asleep.  All along, I am telling Zoe that when she is done crying, she can come and join me in the other room.  She is trying to convince me that she is done crying but can’t get the words out through her sobs.  She started to kick the door-not just once, several times.  At this point I question my job as a mother and wonder why I was not given any training for such a huge responsibility.  I entered Zoe’s room and laid on her bed next to her and kindly asked her to just rest until she can be pleasant.  She is begging me to NOT leave her room-I can barely stand being in her room.  I couldn’t decide if I should stay there and try and rest myself or excuse myself from the drama.  Then, Zane wandered into Zoe’s room crying and so confused about the whole situation.

Funny thing, Zoe and Zane recovered in minutes.  The crying stopped, Zoe apologized, Zane was clearly awake but I continued to lay on Zoe’s bed staring into Never Never Land (we didn’t visit that place in Disneyland, maybe I would have stayed) wishing that nobody would notice if I stayed there for a few hours and worked on being pleasant myself.  Yes, it was one of those moments.

Zane spotted these at Party City and wanted them.  He REALLY wanted them.  I entertained the thought for a few minutes and took a picture…  No, we didn’t take them home with us.  :)

I just returned from a girls’ trip to Disneyland.  You have seen me mention the planning, right?  I am exhausted, I mean really exhausted.  We slept so good but being with 4 little girls is just exhausting.  I usually bring my laptop on vacations so I can keep track of the days and what was going on but I left it in anticipation of spending all my valuable time with Zoe.  I will do my best to recap it all!  But, not tonight.  It is late and I am on duty tomorrow-just me, myself, and I.  I have playgroup here, co-op here and school to get back to.  It is best that I go to sleep and work on the Disneyland post another day-don’t you think?

Oh, an admission… I brought some camera gear and was self-appointed (doesn’t that sound familiar? That is Mrs. RED)    to document the trip and then make some books for the girls when we return.  Well, I am here to tell you that I am no tough cookie when it comes to lugging around the extra poundage of bags and camera stuff.  My shoulder was in no condition to be carrying my ShootSac all day, with overflowing compartments of lens, batteries, wallet, water, flash, more crap and more crap, etc. etc. etc….  So, I dogged it after the first day-lightened my load.  It turned out that Zoe wanted me to CARRY her all day (yes, ALL DAY-minus moments here and there to throw up) on the 2nd day we were there.  So, good thing I wasn’t weighted down with GEAR-it was a child (and more weight of course) that weighted me down.  She wasn’t feeling good and I suppose being in my arms all over the Disneyland campus eased her pains?  So, most of the pictures are a bit blurred but I can’t care.  It was quick, easy and sometimes one handed.  The important part it that we have pictures to prove we survived 4 days in CA with 4 moms and 4 girls.

So, now I am back in the comfort of my own home with very sore biceps and quads.  Thanks Zoe for the good times and the good work-out!

We wanted to capture the moment-with pictures and video-when we told them where they were going.  Keep in mind that the girls had NO IDEA they were doing anything.  The morning that we left, we were up at 5:00am and I just told Zoe that we needed to go somewhere.  I had packed her suitcase and put it in the car the night before.  Grandma Deb and Papa were taking care of Zane… We were all set and ready to go.  So HERE and HERE and HERE are the video clips of the surprise. 

Here they are somewhere in Frontier Land.  : )

Zoe is a pretty lucky little girl with a fantastic grandma!

They went to see Sleeping Beauty together.  My mom loves to introduce Zoe into the world of theatre!  Zoe loves going and it is such a treat for her.  She asked me today if Enchanted was on stage yet…

I haven’t been to the ostrich festival but have heard all about it.  UMMMM, this was NO FESTIVAL, it was comparable to the state fair-THE QC size.

This song is what got Zane going for the day-the day we were headed to the Ostrich festival.  So, my kids enjoyed the Journey to the Ostrich Festival.

Upon arrival, they band your children (they got smart). 

We wandered for too long looking for fried twinkies or snickers, snowcones and the beloved ostrich races. 

My kids were done before we even got started.  My biggest kid (Tim) was done too.  All we had time for was the Ferris Wheel.  My mom told Zoe that she would go on the Ferris Wheel with her so Zoe was NOT ABOUT TO LET US LEAVE without that ride.

I have been on many scary rides in my life and loved them.  I have no idea what happened to me but I went on that Ferris wheel and looked down and panicked.  I kept thinking the bottom would fall out beneath or that the back of my seat could break and I would go tumbling down backwards.  WHAT? Could it be the zip ties holding the lights on? 

could it be the warning signs everywhere? 

could it be that the people running the rides look like they hate their jobs?  … not sure why but I was nervous! 

Oh, the ostrich races never happened.  Apparently someone was hurt.  We spent about quite a bit of money (all in about 1.5 hours) and ended up with 2 snowcones and a fried snickers and lots of grumpiness….

So, you ask if I will be going next year?  : )