Lisa Heuer

If you could see the smile on my face when I see this…

The top left picture is my oregano from last year that came back super awesomely awesome!  I have nothing else in the box that is actually growing good.  That’s ok, the oregano looks good.  : )  Bottom left is corn stalks,  romaine lettuce, carrots and watermelon.  The top right is squash, zucchini, beans and cucumbers.  The bottom right is my romaine lettuce that makes me happy.

Square foot gardening is such a simple way to garden.  The soil recipe is perfect.  I just love to see it every day.  It is a miracle to me.  I like miracles.

since I just remembered all the significant things for Zoe, I better do it for Zane too.  That’s how kids are, you can’t do it for one and not the other (not that I want to but IJS)

*slept through the night at 7 weeks

*the best baby ever (sorry Zoe, he really was)

*first teeth at almost 6 months

*sat up at 8 months

*learned to crawl at 10 months

*learned how to walk at 18 months (one week before I took him to nursery)

*talking at age 2-really well!!!

*potty trained at 21 months (not through the night-it is my laziness this time)

*loves playing with trains, and eating macaroni and cheese and fruit roll-ups

*started playing in a playgroup at 2 1/2

*starting preschool fall 2009-Ms. Vanderpool

That was short and simple.  I started blogging when Zane was 1 1/2.

I was watching Zoe ride her bike today before school and remembered the day she learned how to ride without training wheels…  one thought led to another and I started remembering all the little things that she has learned to do and for her sake, I want to take note of them.  I didn’t write it down, I have a simple scrapbook about her but I haven’t taken the time to go back and journal-so here is to journaling!

*slept through the night at 10 weeks

*first airplane ride with me to visit Aunt Kristie at 12 weeks

*started trying to hold her head up off the ground at 3 months

*first teeth at 3 months

*we learned of her terrible allergic reaction to vinyl when we fed her rice cereal for the first time.  The vinyl bib around her neck made her break out with a rash.  We thought it was the food until we tried a different food and realized it was the bib.  Still to this day, Zoe cannot play with vinyl.  When she does, she gets a rash all over and becomes very itchy. 

*learned how to crawl at 9 months

*learned how to walk at 13 months

*communicated with sign language until she was 2 1/2.  She knew so many signs and preferred them over verbal communication

*Potty trained at 19 months

*started Hands Full Preschool at 20 months

*started her playing with the girls in playgroup on Mondays 9-12 at age 21 months

*stopped sleeping in a crib on her 2 year old birthday

*Went to Ms. Holly’s preschool at age 3/4

*always loves to play house, sing and dance

*Started let’s play music at age 3 3/4 (it was supposed to be age 4 but she was so close!)

*learned how to swim at age 4 but was much better the next summer!

*stopped letting me dress her and fix her hair at age 4 (she has always had an opinion about it!  She would tug on her dresses and pull things out of her hair VERY EARLY!)

*learned how to ride her bike without training wheels at age 5 (the girls were over here to play for playgroup.  I got a wild hair and took off the training wheels and one by one, the girls got on it rode without the training wheels.  Yep, just like that.  They all did it!)

*Eagle’s Aerie age 4/5 years 2007/2008 (half day kindergarten)

*gave up sleeping with Mo at age 4

*Polytechnic elementary school age 5/6 years 2008/2009 (all day kindergarten)

*Started fixing her own food at age 5. She can do waffles, PB&J, cereal, and drinks.

*ears were pierced in December 2007 (just for a fun note, I was 5 when I had mine pierced too.  Tim wanted to wait to get her ears pierced so she could tell us when she was ready.  I wanted to have a cute little baby girl with pierced ears but that didn’t happen…)

I think I have been including significant changes in her life since age 5 so now we are caught up.  Wow, that was easy.  : )

Here is my honest heart Zoe…

You walked in the door today from school.  I had a change of heart and was excited to see you and was hoping you felt the same way (but excited to see me instead of yourself).  You were happy, almost forgetting the entire morning.  You walked 20 footsteps through the front door and saw your new little doggie toy sitting on the kitchen floor.  You lost it-your patience, your temper and all control.  Your voice hurt my ears and you were just beside yourself.  You tried to tell me that if you didn’t lock your door, Zane would get in there and get your stuff.  You were sort of right.  I was the one who went in your room today, looking at all that represented you.  I decided to tidy up your books while looking for some books to read to Zane.  I was distracted and Zane had a hay day playing with your stuff.  Your books look nice.

He left the dog sitting on the kitchen floor.  I forgot to clean up the things he played with-I should have been more careful-you were not happy with me.  You walked about 25 footsteps more and if I thought you had lost it 25 steps earlier, you just took it one notch higher. (I won’t forget to mention that Zane was still enjoying his afternoon nap.)  Now, you saw all sorts of traces resembling an intruder.  I couldn’t believe that I was so careless-I should have known better.  You were so mad.  SO MAD.  I think we talked through it and you calmed down. 

We were in a rush after this because today was piano day and mom’s were to be in attendance.  I was straightening up the chairs in the piano room (preparing for the stick holder’s meeting) and you were jumping from one chair to another.  You tripped and fell and yelled once more at me saying it was my fault for moving the chair.  I am sorry.  I think I didn’t have any more sympathy to give.  I asked, “Zoe Rae, how could it be my fault that you hurt your foot?  You are the one that chose to jump on the chair that I moved.”  Your noise level, your shrieks, your total disrespect for Zane’s nap… (and he was now yelling from his room, “Zoe, you wake me up!”) and it was escalating with every event.  My nerves were a bit-ok, not just a bit, totally fried.  My last remark to you before leaving for music was, “Zoe, you have been quite the girl today.”  You had a perfect response…

“Mom what is that supposed to mean?  I am always quite the girl.”

I took you to your music lesson on the edge of patience.  I should have chosen to stay home and attended on another day with you but I missed last time due to last minute sitter changes with Zane.  I sat next to you barely being able to be there-barely being present.  (Really, where I wanted to be was in a dark corner eating chocolate or taking a glorious nap.) I am sure your poor teacher knew I was half there.  I couldn’t help you because every time I try to show you the correct notes you say, “No,” and tell me that I am wrong (don’t worry about the fact that I took piano for almost 8 years.  I probably know nothing).  I didn’t think I should press my patience any more. 

We made it through the remainder of the day but you detected my sour demeanor and asked me if I was happy or mad.  I simply told you that we had a rough day.  I should have pulled over and hugged you to reinforce the fact that I love you even on days such as these.  I didn’t…  I was enjoying my space-me in the front and you in the 3rd row seat.

Zoe, you are an incredible ray of sunshine in my life.  I love you and everything that you add to my life.  I am the adult (perhaps) and I could have done so much better today-will you forgive me?  I allowed your disappointment and frustrations to affect how I acted and felt today.  I know better-but knowing better doesn’t always make me do better.  I am glad you are asleep in my bedroom, where I can see you peacefully sleeping and let go of all the angst from today. 

We will have a much better day tomorrow (mostly because daddy will be home and then I can go to my corner with some chocolate).  : )

1. why do I post so many times?  When I am on a roll, I am really on a roll. Each month, I post more.  Dear blog, you are my sane adult.  thanks for talking with me!

2. why do kids NOT want to stop and go to the bathroom?  CLEARLY, they need to go.  When asked, Zane says, “No, I don’t need to go potty.”  I am so confused about this one.  Isn’t it more painful to hold it in and do the potty dance than just take care of business?

3. why does my mind think of every weird thing when it is time to go to bed?  Why can’t I do that during the waking hours and then let it go at night.  Weird.  I remember some of the most random things at bedtime.  I often have wanted to get up and write them down because it is a MEMORY, a story, part of my life but I probably had already posted like 30 times for the day so I usually pass.  : )

4. why do kids have every excuse to avoid bedtime?  I BEG for bedtime, naps, whatever I can get.  At what age do we start appreciating sleep?

5.  Why do our bodies get a little worse after each kid?  Shouldn’t it look better to encourage multiplying and replenishing the earth?

6. Why do I love m&ms so much?  They are a definite trigger food for me.

7.  What is the point of Facebook?  I wonder what their business plan looks like… what is their goal and where are they going?  : )  I thought it was fun to reconnect with people and now, I appreciate the connection but it is ONE MORE RESPONSIBILITY.  Who wants to be more responsible?

8. Why do I pay $100 for a cell phone every month?  I am pretty sure I can’t do without it (unless I had to of course) but when did our culture change so much to make it normal to have that kind of a monthly expense?  Are home phones needed anymore?  When you call a home phone, you have intentions of speaking with a certain someone so just call their cell, right?

9. Why is delicious food so delicious?  : )

10. When will I stop waiting for spring to come so I will get out and exercise? 

Some good quotes

“I’d like people to think of me as someone who cares about them.”

~Diana, Princess of Wales

“We deceive ourselves when we believe that only weakness needs support.  Strength needs it far more.”

~Anne-Sophie Swetchine,

I keep saying that I am the lone ranger for 2 weeks.  2 WEEKS.  That sounds long and deserving of accolades. BUT you are right Lettie… it is 12 days.  And yes, that already does include the day he left and the day he returns.  I looked on my calendar today to see just how many it was…(while it seems like 24 more days) 14 is not quite right.   

I talked with my mom today about the absence and the number of phone calls in a marriage.  We were making jokes about the difference in being away from your love when you are dating compared to being married 40 years.  Basically it goes something like this:

dating-can’t stop talking, can’t stand minutes away from each other

Married 40 yrs- you ask, “don’t you have somewhere to be?”  I will talk to you when you get back.  : )

Ok, that is an exaggeration but it still is funny to me.  My parents have reached 40 years this year.  Unbelievable.  40 years.  FORTY YEARS.

On a different note:  After realizing what I may be looking at with child number 2 and the getting ready process (especially on sports day) I decided to set most things aside today and play.  We played cards, Hi-Ho Cherry-o (I am quite certain I butchered the spelling but I am too lazy to go look at the game or even google it right here and now.  I would rather type about 18 extra sentences about how I spelled it wrong), Dora’s picnic alphabet, Brown Bear Brown Bear, wack-a mole, and trains.  I realized for those moments that it is true what they say-nothing else matters.  I didn’t care what I had waiting in my inbox, outbox, to-do lists, or swimming in my head.  We sang over and over a little tune to Brown Bear, Brown Bear.  (If you want to try it, get the book and then sing it to the tune of twinkle twinkle little star).  He loved the guessing game of what animal came next.

Then, when he was in quiet time, I was looking on my favorite photographer websites and blogs.  Melissa Jill has great wedding photography and I know she is good because I can feel the emotions that are portrayed in her photos.  I reminded myself about my family and that my kids will soon be there-getting married.  I know it is right around the corner because today, Zane learned how to sing the ABC’s, so marriage can’t be far.  : )  ANYHOW, I have such a short time with them.  I can’t let the little stuff get in the way.  I can’t let time manage me, I need to manage time. 

So, what all this means is, I need another kayak so my family can come along (even though they don’t want to), I need a camper to park next to Pam, I need a truck for all this new stuff and I need to still lose 10 pounds.  I could use about 3 more hours in a day, a cabana boy to fix my pool and keep it fixed and some cute new summer clothes.  Too bad I have a budget.  : (

I am geared up and ready to hug and love my dear daughter who left with so much angst about her costume.  BTW, she ended up in knit capri pants and a t-shirt and we called her “yoga girl.”

Hmmmmm, ahhhhhhhh, hmmmmmm, ahhhhh (deep breaths)

It has already been a rough morning.  Let me explain.

It is “sports day” at Zoe’s school.  The kids get to dress up like any sport except swimming-no swim suits at school.

So, Zoe woke up and began the morning and it was all fairly decent until I prompted her to get dressed.  She claimed to have nothing to wear and really wanted to wear her swim suit.  We went round and round and I gave her a few ideas of a costume, none of which she liked.  So, the crying began.  She yelled at me, “this is the worst day of my life.”  She was on the floor, screaming, yelling, trying to rip her clothes off.  I was completely prepared to take her to school in her PJ’s because I do not like the reminder 200 times in the morning about getting ready.  She put on a dress and wanted to be a ballroom dancer and then said, “I don’t want to wear this dress because everybody will tell me that I look cute and I don’t want to say thank you.”  You can see how my morning was going…  hmmmmm, ahhhh, hmmmmm, ahhhhhh

I got in the car to take her to school and she was calm and doing fine.  Me, I was shaking on the insides trying to have self mastery over my emotions.  I couldn’t decide if I should laugh or cry or none of the above.  I want so bad for her to know that you cannot behave like that, where is the owner’s manual?  I didn’t want to let her attitude affect mine, but I haven’t mastered that.  hmmmm, ahhhh, hmmmm, ahhhh.   hmmmm, ahhhhh, hmmmm, ahhhh, hmmmm, ahhhh, hmmmm, ahhhhh. 

wow…

So everybody is doing it…  changing their blogs to private.  I am thinking about it but questioning it for myself.  First: is there anybody who even reads my blog.  Second: if yes, will those certain readers do anything with my blog pictures or content?  Third: if yes, how would I know?  Fourth: if somebody does want to harm my blog or me I suppose they will figure it out with or without a blog.  BUT, blogs are one more tool for somebody (and maybe the wrong somebody) to get information that you may not want them to have.

So, I am 50/50.  If you are one of the 2 people that happen to stop by to read and see what kind of crap I have going on (no pun intended… he he he) and want to continue reading then let me know.  If nobody let’s me know then really… that is my own answer-it doesn’t matter what I do because it won’t affect the world turning ‘round.

I was talking today with Cara about the way people communicate.  It is like we know so much about somebody before we have even met them.  One of my favorite blogs that I read daily, I found from a link of a link blah blah blah.  I have NO IDEA who she is but I love to laugh at her writings.

THIS, it is my recordings for my kids-a proof that I lived and left tiny little footprints.  I do know more than eating your vegetables will make you healthy and strong.  Something for them to have and hold without having to store stuff (like my cool “house dresses”).  Just a book of my thoughts, feelings, daily struggles and whatever else strikes a mood to write.  I am not writing for money, which so many bloggers are doing nowadays.  I am not writing with any other purpose except a very selfish one.  I hope to laugh at myself when I give my thoughts a voice.  I hope to release some emotions, I hope to record and give my kids a small dose of how much they are loved and how much I do with them in mind.  I write because I am able to let go of a thought that I keep hoping to remember (which I never do).  I write because I have learned that I love to write.  I guess it is as simple as that.  Too bad I didn’t keep a journal during my high school years.  : )

So, private or not.  (Tim, don’t answer!)  Still thinking…

Minda doesn’t want the credit that I gave her.  Maybe she was assigned my yard by the compassionate service committee?  Maybe she couldn’t stand the way my partially picked poppies were thrown into my yard?  Maybe she just wanted to try out our cool lawnmower?  Maybe she wanted to see my garden and sabotage it by spraying weed killer on it????  Maybe it is that she really didn’t want to but Todd had to promise all sorts of stuff…  whatever the reason, I just want to still say thanks. 

…Even if it was just for Tim (and had nothing to do with me)…  it was much appreciated.

A major disappointment: my poppies never worked.  I have lots of green stuff that came up and looked promising but the beautiful red and orange poppies never showed.

Is it ok to put your son in the shower and let him take a 40 minute shower so you can get stuff done?  Too late…

Zane pooped-all by himself without any bribery today.  He felt it coming, told me he needed to go and I put him on the toilet-NO TEARS.  He did his thing.  Man, my investment in Thomas train stuff is getting hefty.  (but worth it!)