ahhh… big sigh for this one. 

I put Zoe in charge-her first babysitting job.  She was to babysit Zane, stay out of Tim’s way (he was working downstairs), and clean all the rooms in the house all for $1 if everybody was happy when I came home.  BONUS: I would take them both to buy a toy at Target (with my secret mission being looking for a lamp for Zoe’s room).  I left for 2 hours and received about 8 phone calls from Zoe documenting her experiences as a babysitter. 

I came home, everyone was happy and the house looked amazing.  Too bad Zoe just blew her cover-I now know her capabilities and she will be cleaning more often.  Seriously, it appeared as though the housecleaners had just left my home.

I loaded them up for Target right away and I was excited.  I was so excited that they did just as I had asked and I was relieved from all the cleaning downstairs.  I kept telling Zoe how awesome she was and that I was so proud of her.

At Target, I got them some lunch-bad planning on my part, leaving without food first.  The food kept them busy while I looked at lamps until Zane suddenly claimed, “I haf to go potty.”  As you may know, when kids say its potty time, it really is potty time without much time to spare.  We dashed and maneuvered our way through the isles back to the restrooms where Zoe was soon to lose what she had earned.

Here is where it became comical-

Zoe tried to be first on the toilet.  That little stinker snuck in there while Zane was trying to drop his pants (we went to the family restroom).  That frustrated me first because Zane was the one to express his need.  Because I am “mom” I had to take control of the situation and tell Zoe to wait her turn. Then, Zane told me he wanted to flush the toilet (simple things make him happy) when he was finished; Zoe hit the flusher before he could.  ARGH… Zane screams which alerted possibly all of Target guests and then cries.  I try to comfort him (mostly to save some of the embarrassment) while explaining that it is ok, he can flush Zoe’s pee and mine so he will get 2 turns.  I am thinking to myself that I can’t believe we are having a discussion and an argument over flushing the toilet but anything goes in public I suppose.

Zoe is almost finished with her business and quickly reaches behind her and flushes the toilet.  Can you believe it.  I couldn’t either.  I gave her THE LOOK.  I know anybody reading this knows exactly what I am talking about.  It is the look if disgust while my brain is trying with all its might to consider how I will handle this.  I asked her why in the world she would do something like that after we just had the discussion of Zane flushing when she was done.  Her response, “I wanted to flush my own pee.”

Oh boy…  I can only imagine what we sounded like!

I don’t think there is anything she loves more than irritating Zane.  Anyhow, the screaming and crying was kicked up a notch so I had to act fast.  I told Zoe that she just lost her toy that she worked so hard for.  The crying continued louder but instead of just one child crying, it was BOTH.  Yep, in the bathroom, both kids crying because one couldn’t flush the toilet and the other lost her toy for flushing the toilet.  My pleasant trip to Target was turning into a disaster.

I was so sad for Zoe.  I told her how sad I was because I really wanted to buy her something.  I am sure that other unsuspecting shoppers were listening to me explain that I could no longer buy her something because she did not let him FLUSH the toilet.  I wanted to add the words- that you were being a brat and love to make your brother crazy and me all at the same time but instead I said, “That was an very unkind thing to do.”  I didn’t know what other immediate solution I could do.  I didn’t want to take it away…  What’s a mother to do?  Where is my manual?

Zane picked out a train, of course, then we were ready to go.  BUT a new problem… Zoe refused to leave the store until I bought her something.  There goes the LOOK again.  What was I going to do?  What would Love and Logic do?  BUT, what was convenient with a cart full of stuff for home?

I told her that it was time to go.  I was sorry that she lost the privilege of having a new toy.  I was just as sad as she was and I hoped that she would earn it in the near future.  I then told her that she could walk with me or I could carry her but either way we needed to leave.

She did…

Ahhhh…  deep breath and another confirmation that 2 kids and shopping is NOT a good equation!

All this for the love of a good flushing toilet.