it is bedtime.  Here is the conversation I am having with my son-me in the office, him in his room, in his bed.

Z-Mom, there is a monster in here

Me-really, what does he look like?

Z-he is green

Me-oh, tell him that green is my favorite color

Z-(repeats what my comment to the said monster) Mom, he mess up my bed and is going round and round

Me: ask him nicely to leave your bed alone

Z-Monster, please leave my bed alone.  Mom, he isn’t leaving me alone

Me:  tell him if he can’t be nice than he will have to leave

Z- Mom, he won’t be nice.

Me:  tell him to leave.

Z- Monster, leave.  Mom, he won’t leave

Me: What should we do

Z: Mom, I want you to get him.

Me: I don’t have the right monster tools, you will need to get him

Z: (gun noises)

silence…

Z: Mom, there is a witch in my room

Me:  I bet she is there to scare off the monsters

Z:  Mom, I need to tell you someping (i love the way he says that!) can I come in the office please

Me: sure.  (he rushes around the corner and won’t look back)

Z: Mom, can I sit on your lap because the witch is going to get me.

He curls up on my lap and is truly afraid. 

Me: where did the witch go?

Z: She is right there (pointing about 5 feet in front of us)

Me: what color is the witch, I don’t see her

Z: she is gween

Me: perfect for Halloween!

Z: mom, don’t let her get me

Me: Zane, she won’t get you, I think she is a good witch.

Z: oh.

Me:  Please go back in bed, its late

Z: Mom, I can’t

Me: I will take you back in your room (As I stand up, he wraps himself around me)

Z: put me under the covers

Me: like this? (putting the covers up to his chin)

Z: no, like this (shimmy’s down underneath completely)  I don’t want it to get me

Me: OK, I am in the office if you need me (walked out of his room)

silence

Z: Mom, mrrrrshshshshshmmmm   rrrrshshshsmmmmm  (I didn’t understand him, he was under the covers in the next room trying to talk to me)

Me: (walked to his room, peeled back the covers) Zane, what did you say, I didn’t hear you?

Z: I’m sweaty

Me: I know buddy.  You are wearing your winter PJ’s and getting hot underneath the covers.  (pulled back the blanket and left him with a sheet to his chest.

Z: but the witch will get me

Me: where is she?

Z: right there, pointing toward his closet

Me: What is she doing?

Z: she is looking at me

Me: and then what will she do?

Z: She will get me

Me: with what?

Z: her gun

Me: what gun?

Z: a green and yellow gun

Me: what does the gun do?

Z: it will do this to me (he makes a hissing noise)

Me: oh really?  and then what will happen?

Z: The ghost will come.

Me: what kind of ghost?

Z: the wiggly one that is white

Me: Where is the ghost now?

Z:  I don’t know

Me: hmmmm.  Well, I am in the office if you need me (walking out of his room)  The witch is following me now, I think she wants to watch me work on the computer

Z: Mom, the witch isn’t here anymore

Me:  That is good news Zane!

Silence

Z: Mom, I need a drink of water

Me: Zane, water breaks are over.  I will see you in the morning

Silence

ahhhhhhh.  Is this what life is like once your kids know about aliens, monsters, ghosts, etc?  I’m not sure if I already took note of our experience shopping for a Halloween costume?  We went to Wal-Mart and hit the costume isle.  Zane was spooked by the masks and scary items.  He grabbed my leg and says, “mom, its scarwee.”  We moved one more isle over and found happy, fun costumes.  He fell in love with the scooby doo costume but is was several sizes too small.  I promised him that we would go to the Halloween store to find a costume for him.  As we left the isle and visited another section of Wal-Mart, two boys passed with fake swords and masks.  They were hiding from one another and just having fun.  Zane once again grabbed on to me and said, “mom, they are trying to sceh me.”  I tried to assure him that it was all fake and they were just pretending.

We went to the Halloween store and I barely could get Zane in the front door.  He wanted me to carry him.  There were cardboard trees with moss in the front door area with some Halloween ish music and sounds playing.  He was totally spooked.  I carried him to the kid section with “safe” costumes.  BUT at the end of the isle was a mummy.  Zane gave it one look and said, “Mom, don’t go around that corner.  He is going to get you.”  I picked him up and went closer so he could see that it was pretend but he wouldn’t even look at it.  Then he says, “Mom, let’s git outta here.”  My poor little guy is totally afraid of all this scary Halloween stuff. 

(we left only because he had already picked out a Kung fu Panda costume)

Today, we were shopping for some Halloween decor.  In the isle was a old scary man mask.  Zoe was pushing the cart and went an isle ahead of me so when they turned and couldn’t see me, I quickly put the mask on and went to catch up.  I just casually said, “hi guys,” in my regular voice and Zane did NOT like it.  He screamed at me to put it away, I pulled it off and showed him that I was ok.  He said, “mom, dat wasn’t funny.  let’s git outta here.”

So, I need to figure out a way to deal with spooky things.  I tried to show him that a prayer would help him feel safe and comfortable but he wants me to take control of the situation.  Like I know a thing about monsters and witches???  : o

Just when I thought he was asleep, he is now hollering out for me again, asking me if I am done working because he wants me to go see him again. 

Z: Mom the monsters are back

Me: the same one or different ones?

Z: different ones

This could be a long night…