I was really excited about posting this today, until she became rotten, I mean really rotten.  She woke up in a bad mood and has made everybody pay all day long.  She had a friend over and was not been kind to her.  She even said this, ‘”I didn’t even want you to come over in the first place.”  I looked at her with true disappointment and sadness and said, “Zoe, why would you say that to her?”  Her reply, “Well, it’s true.  You’re the one that invited her over.”   (a quick clarification here… she called her friend and the voicemail picked up.  I knew that I could text her mom and make a plan because they would be back soon.  I told her that I would get in touch with them so her friend could come over and play.  Technically, yes, I invited her…) I was dumbstruck by my daughters complete disrespect and rudeness.  I couldn’t believe that she would dare treat somebody like this. 

It didn’t stop (or start) with her friend.  This incident was more like the tip of the iceberg.  I told her that if she couldn’t be nice then she didn’t deserve to be around anybody and I sent her to her bedroom and told her that I don’t want to be around somebody like that (ok, and I was raising my voice a bit).  She yelled back to me, “I don’t want to be around you either,” and slammed the door. 

There was more, I am sure of it, because I was sick to my stomach knowing that my offspring was capable of such behavior (I shouldn’t have been shocked because she has acted this way before-so maybe I should clarify and state that I continue to be shocked).  She did some spiteful things this morning and it has just continued all day long.  Where does she learn this and think it is ok?  Do I sound like this?  I am certain her teacher treats her kindly and I am sure she is surrounded by people that encourage her and love her.  I really hope that she learns someday the importance of treating people kindly.  (otherwise, she will have no relationships and live with me for the rest of her life-ahhhhh).

Ok, I should redeem myself and bring out the good….. but I can’t today.  It will have to be another day.  I am truly so saddened and sick about how she acted all day long that I am having a hard time forgetting and moving on.  Me, as her mother, is internalizing and analyzing and wondering what I can do to help her learn whatever she needs to learn.  I can’t make her learn it though.  She will learn it and I am sure she will hurt some along the way (and that is sad) but lessons come in the strangest ways (and maybe this lesson if for me-yep, it probably is and I am just so set in figuring her out and wanting HER to change).

Next point… how come kids can forget it and move on like it never happened and we adults hold on to stuff for so long?  She said she was sorry and put on a smile.  Me, I told her, “thank you for the apology but I still have no desire to be around somebody that treats me that way.”  I know, you are thinking, GROW UP Lisa.  I tried.  And, here I am, in my office venting to the keyboard about the event that I bet she has forgotten.  I want to be more like that!

The point of my story..

here is that cute girl with her new haircut (and all sorts of pinks).  We went to have a shape up, trim up and she told the lady that she wanted it short and pointed to her ears.  I love it for her, it is easier than a ponytail that she wanted every day. 

She is precious.  She really is.  I have lots of parenting learning to do.  I want the days to go smoother with her.  She is too smart for me.  : )

Zoe, I am sorry for my “rude” behavior today.  Man, I wish I could have acted like the adult today.  If you need to live with me forever I suppose I would do that for you.  : )  I want what is best for you and many times my failures are simply because I don’t know any better.  I haven’t done this job before and you didn’t come with a manual.  What is important is that you know you have a family that loves you.  Now be a little kinder to me, would ‘ya?