Lisa Heuer

blog header

Me…in real life

narcissistic

with 2 comments

I watched Julie & Julia yesterday.  Let me tell you what a treat it was to sit on the couch, socks keeping my feet warm, house quiet.  It was an indulgence that I was truly enjoying.  I was reminded that I rarely take time to sit.  Anyhow, the movie was wonderful-about food and writing.  A great combination.  I realized that I think like Julie.  She was always so anxious to write.  She wanted to appease her people (except I don’t have people).  She loved to write.  She loved to document.  She loved to have commitments and stick to them.  Her husband referred to her as narcissistic-Tim hasn’t said that yet but he did tell me that I needed to stop thinking the world wouldn’t go around if I didn’t pay attention to QCF or the blog.  WHAT?  People don’t need me?  I could melt into the woodwork and nobody would notice? I don’t write for people, I write for me but in a weird sense that somebody is waiting to hear what I have to say… like my kids are sitting by the fire in their old age reading my stories and anxious to get to the next.  It is a good feeling to be needed (even if you make it up yourself) and not a good feeling to NOT be needed.  I try to write often, not to get far behind.  Some months are better than others and some seasons are better than others.  Sometimes I can’t stop talking and others I can’t think of what to say.  This season and month happens to be a “not so much to say” type of month.  I am busy and trying to juggle it all.  I am always trying to find ways to cut back.  But for now even though I am allowed to think that people need this-my writing- I know it isn’t true and so sitting back for a bit is fine.  It doesn’t need to be on the to do list.  It doesn’t need to be something that I am concerned about getting done.

I do want to take time to read, to walk, to listen and write when I can…  : )

with 2 comments

Written by lisa

February 3rd, 2010 at 4:02 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

2 Responses to 'narcissistic'

Subscribe to comments with RSS or TrackBack to 'narcissistic'.

  1. You have a steady follower here. I wouldn’t want your blog to be silenced. It’s nice to “hear” your voice and “listen” to your perspective.

    Summer Hayes

    3 Feb 10 at 4:35 pm

  2. I do? I’m needed? : ). Thanks for the note. I sometimes forget that this isn’t a “job” with deadlines so just trying to keep it simple. Real simple! Thanks for visiting and wanting to read more!

    lisa

    3 Feb 10 at 7:42 pm

Leave a Reply